There Went The Big One Pt. 1

There's always that feeling. 

You know, after a big church conference or something. 

That feeling you get when you pull out of the hotel, wave that last goodbye to your friends, and begin the countdown to when you can text that one girl whose number you got, but have to wait a bit so she doesn't think you're desperate. 

You know that feeling. 

It was good! You couldn't imagine how it could have been better, the preaching was amazing, the fellowship fantastic....but....

It's done. It's over.

The apex has passed and is coming to an abrupt diminuendo. 

You weren't through! You were just getting started and it all ended too quickly. 

But just imagine with me, that instead of the long lonely car ride home, that suddenly you pull around the corner and there, right in the middle of the road, stood a giant tent complete with tables, food, and all of those friends you were already starting to miss. 

You jump out of the car and run over to them, "I thought it was all over??!!"

No, they reassure you. There is going to be one more service, and one more time for everyone to bond over a meal.

You smile to yourself, cause you weren't quite ready for it to be over.

That my friends, was exactly how it felt when the wedding was over.

The knot had been tied, the broom jumped over, but there was still one more activity on the agenda.

The reception: where family and friends come close.

The reception was starting to fill up as Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Avendano dismissed each row.

When the crowd was least expecting it, my Uncle's voice boomed from the corner.

"......Blah.....blah.....blah.......And last but not least, Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Avendano!!!"

They look kinda happy.

In between being randomly forced to smooch, they began the wedding tradition of cutting the cake, and feeding each other a piece. 

No messes, no furious groom. 

If my future wife is reading this blog post, I propose a truce. 

You don't smash it in my face and I won't smash it in yours.

But you go first just in case :)





I end this post on a somewhat gruesome note.

I found myself wandering into the kitchen and I wasn't prepared for what I came upon.

The wedding cake, that had been alive and thriving in one piece just moments before,

HAD BEEN DECAPITATED AND MY COUSIN WAS FEASTING UPON THE DEAD CORPSE
 IN A DREADFUL ACT OF OUTRIGHT CANNIBALISM.


*************Warning for those with smaller children and/or weak constitutions*************

He tried to get me to eat some, but I just couldn't.





THEN THEY STARTED CUTTING IT UP AND HARVESTING BODY PARTS.


This wedding really needs an ethical investigation. That's why I'm here, giving you the inside scoop on what you thought went on at an Avendano wedding.

Until next time.

Au Revoir.